Pretty much done nothing this past weekend….makes me sad. Accomplished nothing ….not even fun stuff
But dad bought me a new laptop for school :)
vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”
Uhh. The baby doesnt come out of where the penis goes in…
stay in school y’all
i hate to be the bearer of bad news but the vagina and the vagina are, in fact, the same thing
I put giant eyes on our fridge because I could
I found its expression looks very different depending where the eyes go…
bonus surprised fridge
I was scrolling thru this going “That looks like something Gally would do. “
…. Oh my god, Gally. It’s something you did do.
future new fridge
I want you guys to look at what my soon-housemate did to our fucking fridge.
How to wear a knife strapped to your thigh with a garter like a fucking lady while managing not to slice yourself open because you were fool enough to carry an unsheathed weapon next to a squishy part of your body that moves when you walk.
- Get a garter from somewhere; this one is a sock garter from Sock Dreams, which means it’s made to stay the fuck up there.
- Get a fucking sheath for those sharp, pointy things and put them in the sheath. There’ll be a velcro loop at the top so that they won’t slide out if you hold the sheath upside down.
- Put the garter through the loop at the top meant for whatever you’re using to attach it to yourself. Attach it to yourself, adjusting for ease of grabbing. You don’t want to put it on your inner thigh because that is awkward as hell to get out. The only way you’d be able to get it out in a timely manner is if you attached the sheath upside down, at which point you’d need two garters to keep the sheath from tilting inward toward your other thigh.
- Oh no, now the sheath is hanging loosely and is going to make a weird pattern against your clothing. Tuck that shit into your stockings if you’re wearing them, or use another garter if you’re not.
- Pull your pencil skirt back down over the knife sheath. Adjust accordingly due to tightness of skirt and shape of sheath. Make sure you can get at it as quick as you want.
- People look at you really strangely if this is the knife you pull out when you want to cut your apple up.
Vital Information for your Everyday Life.
Reblogging this so I remember to show it to my wife.
I used to do this in high school cause 2 days of the week we did internships and shit and i had to bus alone to downtown seattle and there always creeps. I recommend listening to this.
ALRIGHT LISTEN UP IMMA TELL YOU SOME SERIOUS GENDER MARKETING BULLSHIT THAT WENT DOWN TODAY
Today a woman came in to get her 13 year old son’s black iPhone fixed. This thing was totally fucking busted. She was already kind of being bitchy so I’m just trying to reassure her that everything will be fine and shuffle through the paper work so shes on her way. She leaves, I put her phone away till I have time to fix it.
Well come to find out that we were completely out of black screens until next week’s shipment. So I put on a white screen for now and reassure her that when we do get black screens in that I will call her and we’ll put the new screen on for free. Better to have a temporary mixed match phone then a broken one right?
This woman proceeds to flip her shit. “WE CAME HERE TO GET WHAT WE HAD FIXED!” I calmly explain to her that there is nothing I can do about the color for the time being. The son is totally fine with this and obviously embarrassed by his mother’s outburst. The woman snatches the phone, sneers at it, and then shoves it back into my hands and says “NOW IT LOOKS LIKE A GIRL’S PHONE! I AM NOT GIVING THIS TO MY SON!”
At this moment I turn to her and say. “I don’t undersand? How is it a girl’s phone now?”
"Well it was BLACK and now its WHITE!!" She gestured dramatically at the screen like I couldn’t fucking see it.
"How is white a feminine color?"
She huffs and explains that she refuses to take the phone until the color is changed. The 13 is now rapid fire “its fine its fine” cause he just wants his phone back. But she keeps refusing but I finally tell her again that we will change the phone for free when we get black screens and that shes not allowed to keep it here.
The point of the matter is that this woman almost refused to even take back the phone BECAUSE OF ITS COLOR. Mind you its not even anything like pink or purple. ITS. WHITE.
A SUBURBAN WHITE WOMAN TURNED RED IN THE FACE WITH ANGER BEAUSE SHE THOUGHT WHITE WAS TOO GIRLY FOR HER SON.
And the son is more mature than her.
“Just so everyone is aware, there is a bunch of misleading info being spread around re: ALS research - the “27%” figure is based on previous years’ annual funding; furthermore, the remainder goes to improving the quality of life of those suffering from ALS. Given that the annual funding is approximately 16M, that’s just over 4M spent on decreasing their suffering. It isn’t greed, it’s a lack of money.”
Shut up already.
And the next time you start to complain about a charity either a) working on multiple fronts (because that’s what ALSA does—both seeking a cure and helping people suffering now) or b) daring to have administration expenses—let’s see how long you can last, much less tackle a cause, without printer paper and an internet connection.
As someone who has watched a family member die from a neuro-degenerative disease; funding to develop better wheelchairs and bedsore creams is *just* as important as funding research to cure the disease itself…